Judgement Day - Not

This popped up on the socials, and eleven years on it's funnier than ever.

Quite how they could claim that "the bible guarantees it" is a mystery given that Jesus himself said "But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven".

This billboard was plastered in the middle of the Helderberg for months, but funnily enough it disappeared very shortly after 21 May 2011.

L Is For Lumbering Dinosaur

In my previous white collar fights I've been known as Pastor Punch as I dispense the five-fold ministry to my opponent.

I always found this quite an amusing play on Ephesians 4:11 "So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers" and the idea of 'give me 5', or rather giving my opponent five.

However, in view of my age and health issues, not least of which is a collapsed disc in my spine, if I do ever fight again I will be renaming myself as Dino The Lumbering Dinosaur.

M Is For Marshmallows

M is for Marshmallows

I was hoping that M might coincide with Monday, because these little marshmallow chicks seem to capture the essence of a Monday quite nicely and I would have had two Ms for the price of one, but never mind, they'll suffice on their own for today's M post.

I first saw this pic on FB where a friend had posted it, and it genuinely made me chuckle, so I hope you enjoy it too and I hope it brightens your day a little.

F Is For Farts

We get some real crackpots associating themselves with the church here in South Africa and the competition to see who can push the limits the furthest appears quite intense at times.

One recent crackpot was labelled the "Prophet of Doom" because he sprayed his congregants with Doom (a local fly spray) in the belief it would heal them. He was later found guilty of assault. Enough said!

But now we have a clear winner in Pastor Christ Penelope who according to a local news article "farts on people to heal them".

C Is For Cartoons

C is for Cartoons

A friend posted this one on FB the other day and it made me chuckle and reminded me just how much I love cartoons.

I love them in all their forms, from static one off jokes like this one, to Tom & Jerry whacking each other, each cartoon has so much to offer and I just love them.

If I had to nail down my favourites then Matt from the Daily Telegraph and Larson's The Far Side win along with almost anything by Warner Bros (but especially Pepé Le Pew) and Disney's full length cartoons, especially Treasure Planet, a completely underrated gem of a classic.

Things That Amuse Me

This may just be my weird sense of humour, so you may want to scroll on by for this one...

I'm always on the look out for a sign that can be misinterpreted or has a spelling mistake in it, or something that's just a bit odd, so I was thrilled to come across this error notice on the screen of the ATM in a local shop.

Whilst we were waiting to be served Joel and I happily wasted a fun few minutes discussing what might be wrong with the ATM's throat and indeed where its throat might actually be. In the end we concluded this one was lost in translation.

South African Lockdown Memes

It would be too easy too poke fun at our government and rant about their failings, so rather, I thought it would be far more entertaining to share some specifically South African memes instead.

Enjoy...

2 Portions Or Not 2 Portions

This amused me no end this morning as I went into the drawer to get the scales.

I admire Paula's faith in her message, but knowing how the gut on legs that is Joel is around food, I hold out little hope of this message being heeded. 😂

Just Another Day

Been there, done that... the young & stupid bit, and am still waiting for the payback of being old & wise.

It's been an interesting 24 hours, from taking the car to be checked for a grumbling wheel bearing, a dog jumping in my grave and an appointment with a Chiropractor (proof that I'm getting older) to start some treatment for my herniated disc (slipped disc is so far from the right description!). I came out of the appointment feeling beaten up and the acupuncture needles he stuck in my bum really hurt when they hit the nerve he was looking for. This herniated disc is the most pain I have ever experienced in life, and I've had some nasty injuries in my time.

Please keep praying for total healing, I'm so fed up with it now, and to add to my misery, the Chiropractor told me to stop boxing until it's healed, so that's my fun just gone out the window.

Coronavirus Mutation (Not)

If the coronavirus was a plant...

Easy Riders, Firgrove Style

This brought a smile to my face this morning....

...two easy riders on their bespoke choppers.

This is a local guy in Firgrove who decided to turn his welding skills to bike making and produced these two prototypes.

Ten Books

I was recently challenged on Facebook to participate in the Ten Books challenge, but partly because I'm rebellious and partly because I'm trying (and failing) to spend less time on FB, I'm posting my ten books here.

Also, the FB challenge says not to give any reason or any other information about each book, so again I'm going to be rebellious.

I have to say that having over 700 books in the house has made this very tricky and I have chosen not to include any Christian books, maybe sometime I'll do a Ten Christian Books post.

So, having whittled it down to ten books that have had a massive impact on me, it seems only fair to start with the book I've known and loved the longest of these ten.

Charlotte's Web was first read to me as a 6 year old and I fell in love with it immediately. I've read it more times than I can recount and loved reading it to both of my sons. I really love this book!

Church + PowerPoint = Chaos

This reminds me of some of our Roadshow visits down the years.

One of the best was on the Wirral many moons ago. We had been clear with the church as to what we needed tech wise, back then it was as simple as an overhead projector, and the church had promised all would be fine. On the day there was no OHP so we had to pass our acetates around the congregation whilst we spoke. Priceless!

On another not so distant Roadshow, we were in a church where the vicar (an ardent Mac fan) decided to overrule the tech guy and interfere with the PC and our PowerPoint. Needless to say it didn't go well. 😂

I'll probably get told off for this but I don't really care I'm used to it.

Laughing All The Way...

We had a great evening on Tuesday night as The Gathering hosted a marriage enrichment evening using Mark Gungor's Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage.

We served pizza and cool drinks with the video and settled back for a lot of laughs and some brilliant teaching.

We've been wanting to do this for a while but getting all of our couples together has been virtually impossible, so we went ahead with most of us there and we're so glad that we did.

Family Therapy

One of our better purchases in Blighty was the classic Pie Face game and today we managed to get some squirty cream and play.

Watch the video below and decide for yourself how much fun this game is.  All we can say is this was a great family therapy session and can't recommend it highly enough!

"Thier Latest Ploy"

ploy
Pronunciation: /plɔɪ/
Definition of ploy in English:
noun
1. A cunning plan or action designed to turn a situation to one’s own advantage: the president has dismissed the referendum as a ploy to buy time
More example sentences
1.1 An activity done for amusement: the eternal cross-stitch I was set to do before I could indulge my own ploys

Vandalism!

Twenty three years ago today we'd gone for a quiet day out with some friends and family. The day started brilliantly in church followed by a slap up meal together but then to ruin it all some morons individuals (we know who you are!) vandalised our car.

You can't trust anyone!

Delia I Am Not!

Having read my mate Hazel's Christmas 2013 blog post I was inspired and encouraged to confess to my own shortcomings in the Christmas cake department.

Like Hazel I made two cakes, one came out very well (see left) and once it was iced etc. it went down a storm.

Sadly that's not the whole story though...

To All Political Aspirants...

Today is a huge day here in South Africa as hundreds of thousands of citizens from every section of society join together to remember and celebrate the life of Tata Madiba.

These supporters will also be joined by an unprecedented gathering of world leaders, many of whom will be left totally bewildered and gobsmacked by the tributes that pour in to honour Madiba and his legacy.

21÷7=?

Further to my rant below about the census taken last year here in South Africa I came across this today.

Initially I thought it had to be the work of some mischief maker getting busy with Photoshop but on visiting the official website I downloaded the original and it is indeed free of any Photoshop jiggery pokery.

Look more closely at sum number 3 and see if you can work out the right answer.